Mary Bottrill – Welcome and Prayer

Mary Bottrill was one of those people it was impossible to dislike. Her warm smile and soft voice came form a gentle spirit, kind heart and her Christian faith.  

Like many of you here today, Anne and myself wept when we heard that Mary’s illness was terminal. 
We had hoped and prayed that things would turn out differently but they haven't and so we gather together to remember Mary and to give thanks for her.

However, giving thanks raises the question as to who we give thanks to. 
We cannot give thanks to Mary, she is no longer with us. 
But because Mary was a Christian the situation is resolved because we can give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ whose care and love she knew.

The Bible makes it clear that Christians are to be careful how they grieve
 “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.” 1 Thessalonians‬ 

For Christians the Bible talks of death, not in terms of hopelessness, but in terms of ‘sleep’ of ‘being gathered to your people’. 
These are concepts that are familiar with in day to day life.  
After all we sleep every night; we are used to it, it does not frighten us - indeed we often welcome it and always expect to wake up from it. 
We are used to gathering with friends and family in the expectation of a nice meal and pleasant conversation.

Those of us who are Christians must grieve, but not in hopelessness, rather in expectation for as we read ‘Jesus died and rose again’.
 
Mary had a hope that her Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, had dealt with her sin and that she would be welcomed into God’s presence.

Our thanksgiving service will take place in the light of that trust that Mary had.

Duncan, Amy and James would like to express their gratitude to all those who have shown love and kindness to Mary and the family over this difficult time – friends here at Elmwood for meals and visits, neighbours, the staff at the GP’s, the hospital, Christie’s and St Anne’s Hospice, friends at Chorlton Evangelical Church and at East Leake Evangelical Church.

Though Mary has lived most of her life in Greater Manchester she was, of course, a proud Yorkshire lass. 
Due to the sad fact that most of you will know next to nothing about Mary’s home county I thought I would give you a little insight.
A minister in Leeds, called Roger Carswell, has produced a short leaflet called ‘A Bit of Heaven on Earth in Yorkshire’ and in it he states:

We're proud of Dikie Bird, Lesley Garrett, Michael Parkinson, Roy Castle, Michael Palin, Jeremy Paxman and many others. Guy Fawkes was not our most illustrious!
We're the home of Marks and Spencer, Yorkshire Pudding, Yorkshire Parkin, Wensleydale Cheese, rhubarb and liquorice, Rowntree's chocolate and most importantly, Yorkshire Tea. 
We have more dry stone walls than any other place in the UK: 18,900 miles of them and England's longest waterfall.
The first known English hymn writer, Caedman, was born in Whitby in the 7th century. John Wycliffe and Miles Coverdale, both of whom translated the Bible into English, were Yorkshire men as was William Wilberforce who fought for the abolition of slavery.

I could go on and if I were a genuine Yorkshire man I probably would! 
But that's enough to give you a flavour of Mary's beloved county.

The Bible say: It is good to praise the Lord and to make music to your name, O Most High, to proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night. Psalm 92:1,2

Let us pray:
Great God of Highest Heaven, the One to whom all things belong and owe their existence, we humbly worship you. 
In a world of pain and suffering we thank you that our Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ, could say ‘come unto me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest.’ 
We offer you our thanks for Mary for all she meant to us, for her character that displayed Your kindness, patience and love.  
We commend Duncan, Amy, James and the family to your care and ask that our time together this afternoon, will be a comfort and help to us all. Amen


Mary Bottrill – Life  

Mary was born at St Luke's hospital in Bradford 18th October 1962 to David and Lois Fawthrop. 
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She was joined by her brother Andrew in June 1966.
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September 1967 started at St Michael's School, Shelf, a village situated half way between Bradford and Halifax.
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About this time Mary discovered cycling and repairs.
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December 1970 just before Christmas her mum died at home in bed during the night.

April 1972 Her father,David, married June Steele in Huddersfield.
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March 1973 baby Clare was born. 
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There were now three children in the family
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She started going to a church youth club in 1973 and through that came to know Jesus as her Saviour.

Sept 1974 started at Brighouse Girls Grammar school. 
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In June 1979 she gained 8 'O' levels but not including chemistry - a fact that was source of comment from her future father-in-law who was a chemist.

June 1982 passed her 'A'levels.

As this event effectively ends her childhood it will be a good time for Mary's step mum, June, to share her reflections on Mary's early life.

September 1982 became a care assistant at a Muscular Dystrophy care home in Northants

Jan 1984 Left home to join Operation Mobilisation, now one of the world's largest missionary and humanitarian organisations. 
She came to the Manchester office on Danzig Street - cooking and cleaning

January 1985 left OM, went to live with David and Elizabeth Gough and found a lot of comfort and love at Eccles Evangelical Church, as Elmwood was then.

March 1985 became a Nursing Auxiliary at the old Salford Royal Hospital.
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October 1985 began nurse training. 

December 1985 moved to 62 Chomlea Manor with one chair and a sleeping bag.
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In February 1986 Mary became a member at Eccles Evangelical Church and around that time was baptised

November 1987 the Church moved here to Elmwood

December 1988 Qualified as Registered General Nurse
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July 1989 started work on ward G3

Sept 1990 Derek Stringer came as Pastor

During those years Mary went on cycling & camping holidays to Scotland on her own. 
She reluctantly used to  phone Anne and myself every few days to tell us roughly where she was and how she was. I am not sure that we were told all that had happened to her, but at least we knew she was alive!

Talk Part [1]

Duncan first came to Elmwood in September 1990 and soon spotted a pretty girl one Sunday and asked his friend Gary who she was. 
"Mary and she's a nurse" was his reply. 

Their paths didn't cross for almost a year but then on 13th July 1991 Duncan and several friends went to Capernwary Bible School for a weeks holiday. 
On the first evening everyone was asked to introduce themselves and say where they were from. 
From the back of the room a girl said she was called  Mary who came from Salford. Duncan recognised it was the Mary from Elmwood. 
Over the week they occasionally sat at the same meal table but Mary didn't seem very interested in Duncan. 
However she did explain she had cycled to Capernwray and was planning to get herself and her bike home at the end of the week on the train. 
Duncan offered to take her home in his car as he was going back to Manchester. 
Mary’s response was 'I'll think about it'. 
When the week drew to a close Mary cautiously accepted the offer and on 20th July took the lift home. 
Duncan gave her his phone number when they reached Salford, but never heard anything. 
Mary, however had made this little note - took a fancy to a kind young man who gave me a lift home from Capernwray - now that was something Duncan did not know at the time!

At the beginning of September (6-9th) that year Duncan was expecting to go with his friend Mike on a long weekend break with his parents to their caravan in North Wales. 
At the last minute Mike had to cancel so Duncan pondered who to invite instead. 
Maybe Mary would enjoy walking in the great Welsh outdoors? So Duncan rang his friend Gary for her number, who suggested ringing Ross Brand for it. 
So eventually Duncan rang Mary, explained the situation and that there was nothing romantic in the invite (not sure about that Duncan!!) but thought she would enjoy the hill walking. 
Mary’s response was, as previously, "I’ll think about it"!

She did and finally said "yes" and it was while they were walking round Cregenan Lake they fell in love. 
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Around this time Mary was dealing with a number of issues that were impacting her life and it seems that God brought Duncan on the scene at just the right time to bring some light and a positive focus into her life

In a letter to Duncan Mary wrote:
"I love holding your hand because it always feels big, warm and strong and I feel stronger for being connected to you. I've had so many years of facing things on my own that I still find it amazing that a guy as lovely as you would want to put your time and energy into my life. When I'm with you I feel secure and honoured. Then she quotes from a poem in the Bible, Song of Songs 8:10b, 'Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment.'

Clearly, whatever indifference Mary may have shown towards Duncan to begin with the relationship was very different by now.

So in October 1992 they got engaged 
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Were married 15th May 1993 
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One Sunday morning, a few weeks after their wedding, Duncan was on this platform moving something when our then minister, Derek Stringer, asked him how marriage was suiting him to which Duncan made the classic reply ‘It takes some getting used to!’  


Subsequently, Amy was born in April 1998
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James in April 2000
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It is important for family and friends to remember the things Mary achieved.

Here at Elmwood she helped with the youth group for a while and around 2003 worked in Mums and Tots. 
Over the years, Mary, along with Duncan, was involved in leading church Home Groups.

Outside of church Mary looked after Duncan, raised Amy and James often saying that she never understood how she and Duncan managed to produce two bright, friendly children - a observation many others made as well.

She continued with her nursing and was involved in the Breeze Cycling Group for Women.
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She took the family on camping holidays - that was until the year Keswick flooded and the tent got swamped - after that it was rent a holliday cottage!
(1 Photo)

Though the rest of the family may have given up on using a tent, Mary did not and would occasionally go off by herself for a couple of days at a time to do some camping.
 
Favourite films: Braveheart, Anything with Bruce Willis or Tom Cruise. Difficult to see how Duncan fits in there!
Favourite drinks: Taylor's Yorkshire Tea, Costa latte or flat white
Favourite restaurants: Betty's or Wagamama 
Favourite TV programmes: Master chef, Spring Watch /Autumn Watch, Walking programmes, Tour de France, Little House on the Parie and Gareth Malone's choirs
Favourite music: Anything by Stewart Townend, Traditional folk music.especially Kate Rusby 
Favourite colour: heather

As a Yorkshire lass, I have to say that, she didn't suffer fools lightly!

Family need to hold onto these memories, they are precious and important. They are to be cried over but more importantly, to be enjoyed.

She particularly wanted to remind Amy and James that there is the hope, for those in God's family, of seeing her again. 


Talk Part [2]

Psalm 121, that we have had read for us, is a fitting psalm for Mary.
After choosing this psalm I found out that it had also been read at Duncan and Mary's and  wedding so in a sense it acts as bookends, bracketing their life together.

By now I am sure of that all of you are aware Mary loved walking and cycling.

In verse 1 we have the hills 'I will lift up my eyes to the hills' - plenty of those in Yorkshire
In verse 3 we have slipping feet 'He, God, will not let your foot slip' - easy to slip on rough, wet limestone paths or going over styles
In verse 8 we have ‘comings and goings’ 'The Lord will watch over your coming and going' - there can be lots of meandering about trying to find the right path over the moors

To the best of my knowledge there are no references in the Bible to cycling but there are numerous references to walking. 

Enoch walked with God [Gen 5:24]
“Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.” 

David walked in the valley of death [Psalm 23:4]
“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”‬ 

Solomon walked with wise men so that he could become wise [Prov 13:20]
“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” 

God walks among His people [Lev 26:12]
“I will walk among you and be your God, and you will be my people.”

God promises to walk with us through the problems of this life [Isaiah 43:2]
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” 


Jesus’ followers will walk with Him in heaven [Rev 3:4]
They will walk with me, dressed in white, for they are worthy.” ‬ 

Those who follow Jesus will never walk in darkness [John 8:12]
“When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’”

Mary’s walk is now over but our’s continues. 
The question arises as to where is our walk taking us, where is our destination, who will help us get there?

The psalmist lifted his eyes to the hills. 
Living in a valley bottom could be full of dangers. 
In the psalmist's day floods could happen, there could be surprise attacks from enemies. 
Hills afforded a measure of security. 
You could escape from floods and a surprise attack was less likely. 

Where do you look for your help and security? 
The psalmist gives us direction – ‘my help comes from the Lord’. 
So it was with Mary. 
She experienced ‘the hills’, support from family, friends, health service – all well and good - but above all she looked to the Lord and it showed itself in her dignified death. John Wesley used to say “my people die well’. He could have said that of Mary.

How can you come to know the God who Mary knew and in whom she had such confidence?

In another walking analogy Jesus said 'Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.' Matthew 7:13

Near where we live in Yorkshire there are some very narrow gates, in reality gaps in the dry stone walls, and they can be hard to find and even harder to get through. 
To get through you have to remove your rucksack. 
The Bible teaches that to start on the journey to knowing God with the hope of heaven you have to repent, to be prepared to lay aside, to give up, those things that you know are displeasing to God. 
Then you are to walk along life's path, not trusting that you are good enough to manage by yourself, but trusting that the Lord Jesus Christ, by His death, has forgiven your sins and that, by his resurrection, has given you new life.
That is the way Mary took and I am sure would not have taken any other.

These are Mary's own words about the starting of her journey through the narrow gate and along the narrow path:

In childhood I was a bit antagonistic and knew I didn’t believe in God. 
Then a friend invited me to a Young Peoples Meeting run by a lady in the local church.
I went every week and gradually as I heard about God and Jesus my heart began to change.
Eventually I wanted to go to church as well so I started attending church every Sunday.
I was very faithful in attendance and joined the choir but I was never clearly taught about sin and repentance and what Christ’s death really meant. 
I believed I was a Christian and really wanted to live for God and serve Him but I never really understood the gospel, and never grew very much in having a relationship with Jesus. 
When I was 15 I went to Christian camp and from then on understood that it was a relationship with God and He loved me.

What a lovely testimony and one that could be yours as well.

 As we come towards the close of our Thanksgiving Service there is another verse from the Bible, about walking, that I want us to consider.

After His resurrection Jesus spoke these words to the disciple Peter – “I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go” John 21:18

The same has been true of Mary. 
At one time she went on her walks and cycle rides but for these last 2 years has has to go along a path that she would not have chosen.

The very first time I saw Mary after she was diagnosed with cancer we talked about where we start, upon which truths can we begin thinking about her situation. 

Two issues came up. 

Firstly: that 'God is Love.' 
Though we may not understand what is happening, 'God is Love.' 
God never acts towards His children except in love, care and mercy.
If we do not grasp that we become hard and bitter. 

Secondly: that in the issues God brings into our lives he ‘trusts us to trust Him’.

To the best of my knowledge there is no promise in the Bible that says that we will understand all the perplexities of this life but there are plenty of promises of mercy and help for those who trust God in those perplexities.

The Lord Jesus Christ suffered, ignominy, torture, and death on the cross for Mary. 
He shed His precious blood for her. 
He loved her with a love beyond all comprehension with an unfathomable intensity and depth. 
He can surely be trusted to have done the right thing in His dealings with Mary.

The missionary and author Amy Carmichael in a poem considers five ways of dealing with the painful, big issues that come to us all at one time or another.
She herself, after an accident, spent several decades bed-ridden and in constant, acute pain.

In the poem she imagines an individuals journey.
In Acceptance Lieth Peace

He said, ‘I will forget the dying faces;
The empty places,
They shall be filled again.
O voices moaning deep within me, cease.’
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in forgetting lieth peace.

He said, ‘I will crowd action upon action,
The strife of faction
Shall stir me and sustain;
O tears that drown the fire of manhood cease.’
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in endeavour lieth peace.

He said, ‘I will withdraw me and be quiet,
Why meddle in life’s riot?
Shut be my door to pain.
Desire, thou dost befool me, thou shalt cease.’
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in aloofness lieth peace.

He said, ‘I will submit; I am defeated.
God hath depleted
My life of its rich gain.
O futile murmurings, why will ye not cease?’
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in submission lieth peace.

He said, ‘I will accept the breaking sorrow
Which God tomorrow
Will to me, His son, explain.’
Then did the turmoil deep within me cease.
Not vain the word, not vain;
For in Acceptance lieth peace.

As far as I am aware, Mary never questioned what was happening to her.
There was no ‘why me’ or ‘it's not fair’. 
Her concern was always the impact on Duncan, Amy and James

Her response to the terminal diagnosis was “God has left behind some cancer cells for a reason.”
You see, ‘In Acceptance lieth peace’

Duncan sent me a verse that he felt encapsulated Mary’s life:
“But Christ is faithful as the Son over God’s house. And we are his house, if indeed we hold firmly to our confidence and the hope in which we glory.” Hebrews
 
Mary held firmly to her confidence and hope in the Lord Jesus Christ, God’s Son, her Saviour. She is now enjoying 'glory'.

Let us sing our final hymn: God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform.